Actor Fakes Own Death, No One Cares

27 year-old Jason Fitzsimmons grew up hearing stories of how certain celebrities may have faked their own deaths. From Elvis to Andy Kaufman, from John F. Kennedy to Tupac, Fitzsimmons became fascinated.

Jason Fitzsimmons smiles while recalling faking his own death

“A lot of my friends called it an obsession,” explains Fitzsimmons. “I would always talk about how cool it would be to fake death and come back later on saying, ‘Gotcha!’”

When he was 21 years old Fitzsimmons moved from Wausau, Wisconsin to Los Angeles, California to pursue his dream of becoming an extra in motion pictures and television. Extras are actors who usually have no lines and can be seen in the background of scenes in movies and TV shows. “It’s a living,” says Fitzsimmons, whose credits include Gossip Girl, National Treasure: Book of Secrets, and Big Momma’s Like Father, Like Son. “That one was my favorite. My foot is in a shot for exactly twenty-three seconds!”

On March 24, 2012 Fitzsimmons decided that he was an established enough actor to fake his death.

“A guy walked up to me on set that morning and said Jason was dead,” recalls Jennifer Bonnett, a 23 year-old aspiring actress. “I didn’t know who he was or what he was talking about, but I just said, ‘Sorry to hear it.’”

“When I told that chick about me dying – it was priceless!” exclaims Fitzsimmons. “The next day I went back up to her and said, ‘I’m actually Jason!’ It was great! I did what few people have ever done… and got away with it!”

You can see Jason Fitzsimmons and Jennifer Bonnett in the 2013 release of Austin Powers 4.

President of Paul Lynde Fan Club Not Okay With Gays

While President Barack Obama may have recently come out in favor of gay marriage, President Jeremy Murphy is not okay with homosexuals “in any way, shape, or form.”

Jeremy Murphy, President of the Paul Lynde Fan Club

“It’s not natural,” explains Murphy. “Men should be with women and women should be with men. End of story.”

Mr. Murphy was appointed President of the Paul Lynde Fan Club last October when he submitted an 800 word essay to the governing board of the fan club about why he deserved to be President. In his essay, Murphy wrote:

I really just love Paul Lynde. I always have. Ever since I was a little boy watching Bewitched. There was just something inside of me and I knew that I was born to be a fan of this actor.

Paul Lynde (right) on the set of “Bewitched”

But because of President Obama’s recent statement regarding the subject, President Murphy felt obligated to separate himself on the issue of gay rights. “No man should love another man, and no woman another woman,” said Murphy in a statement to the fan club’s nearly three dozen members. “People are not born this way. It is my belief that television of today is making our youth turn gay. Back in Paul Lynde’s era there weren’t homosexuals in the entertainment industry. I will not, and cannot, endorse such behavior.”Mr. Murphy has been endorsed by the Presidents of the Rock Hudson, Rip Taylor, and Charles Nelson Reilly fan clubs.